i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize