Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
