OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
