Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
