wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
