Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
