when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
