I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
