do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize