Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
