i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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