he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
