my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
