he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
