The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
