I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
