i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
