Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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