I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
