So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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