hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
