Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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