her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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