wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
