Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
