We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize