I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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