smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize