and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
