My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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