IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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