hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
