I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
