Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
