why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
