I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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