I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
