i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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