marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
