he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
