Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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