I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You are a genius and a whore.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
