Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
