were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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