Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize