Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
