Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
