Someone shit on the floor
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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