just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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