Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
