I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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