Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize