It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
