She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
