I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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