so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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