did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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