somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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