She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
