I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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