ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
